Being common is so last year. Falling out of taxis, drunk, dopey and disorderly is to be banished if you want to be on-trend for the year ahead.
Hems are being lowered, while manners are rising. And the only parties you should be attending are dinner parties.
Take the test below – compiled by author of The Bluffer’s Guide To Etiquette, William Hanson – to see if you are ready to cut it in polite society, or whether you need a little help…
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William Hanson’s top 5 tips to being a toff
1) Never say ‘Pleased to meet you’
You may think you’re being terribly nice saying this upon greeting a stranger, but those in the know will have mentally clocked you are not saying, ‘How do you do?’ If you don’t know who they are, can you be sure you really are pleased to meet them?
2) Revise your handshake
The last time someone told you how to shake hands you were probably very young. Get a loved one to review your handshake honestly. Try to avoid being a wet fish or a bone crusher. People judge others on the quality of their handshake.
3) Abandon Pancake Day
4) Avoid attending Facebook parties
If you are invited anywhere by Facebook, don’t go. It won’t be worth it and you’ll probably be served beer in the bottle or wine that hasn’t been decanted.
5) Pudding v Dessert
The final course of a dinner (and arguably the best one) is the pudding. Note, it is called the pudding, NOT ‘dessert’. If you call your lemon posset with spun sugar basket a dessert when dining with the hoity toity, then you might as well prepare for a future dining at a Toby Carvery – where you can help yourself to the dessert buffet for the rest of eternity.
See www.williamhanson.co.uk for more. The Bluffer’s Guide To Etiquette by William Hanson is available for Kindle and iPad at Amazon.co.uk and the iBookstore (RRP £4.99); or in print at www.bluffers.com and all good book shops (RRP £6.99)