Come the end of the year, there will be many lessons from 2017 to reflect on.
One takeaway, ladies, is hopefully this: stop messing around with your vagina.
One notable exception is the infamous jade egg beloved by Gwyneth Paltrow, which goes above and beyond everything else, promising to increase ” chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general .”
But, with 11 weeks to go, we’re still not done with bizarre vaginal trends in 2017. Oh no.
A new worrying alternative “health” trend has emerged.
And it involves “cleansing” your privates with a cucumber.
This so-called cucumber cleanse instructs women to peel the cucumber, then place it, cold, into your vagina before twisting it around for about 20 minutes.
The, er, reasoning behind this advice is that it apparently “helps sanitise and maintain a pleasant odour”, reports The Sun .
Needless to say, qualified medical professionals would urge you to NOT do this.
Firstly, vaginas are self-cleaning. Secondly, you actually put yourself at risk of infections like gonorrhoea and even HIV, by upsetting the natural pH balance of your lady bits.
Dr Jen Gunter, a Canadian gynaecologist, warned that “if you have a vagina you should definitely not do this”.
“This idea that some kind of vaginal cleansing is required, be it a peeled cucumber or the ‘feminine washes’ sold at drugstores, is misogyny dressed up as health care and I am having none of it,” she wrote on her blog.
“Vaginas are not dirty.
“Study after study after study tells us that douches, cleanses, steams, vinegar, pH balancing products, aloe, colloidal silver, garlic or whatever else passing as the vaginal snake oil du jour at best do nothing but have real potential for harming good bacteria or disrupting the mucosal surface.
“Paradoxically, it will also cause odour.”
Ladies, you have been warned. You’re on your own now.