Get with Everton to give David Unsworth something to smile about at Southampton (1.30pm).
Why Ronald Koeman’s bucket man is getting it in the neck at Goodison is a bit of a mystery.
Blaming the bloke with the shovel for something the elephant’s done.
It’s hardly a scoop to reveal that Southampton lack end product. The Saints rely on Manolo Gabbiadini and Shane Long to carry the scoring.
Like getting Sooty and Sweep in to carry a piano up a flight of stairs.
Southampton might fancy their chances of improving their dire scoring record here – the Toffees have conceded 21 goals in their last seven games all told – but it’s still no gimme is it, if the Saints’ possession-to-shots-on numbers are a guide?
At 10/11 ‘Everton or DRAW’ is pick of the likely lads, and 7/1 (Hills) ‘Everton win to nil’ is the longshot shout.
If Manchester City messiah Pep Guardiola gets much more of this holy adoration, he’s odds-on to immaculately conceive by Christmas.
That would liven up this title race wouldn’t it, come May? Pep naturally a bit anxious by that point. Second trimester. A 47-year-old man supernaturally pregnant with all football’s love child. Crying about his fat ankles on MoTD.
Thin odds on City at Huddersfield (4pm), but if he starts I reckon Raheem Sterling at 6/4 (Paddy) ‘anytime scorer’ is a bundle of joy.
Whatever Sean Dyche is doing at Burnley, Everton need some – though my guess is that managerial impact is usually only one-part quality, four-parts coincidence. Bottled smoke. And it don’t travel.
Arsene Wenger shows no sign of running out of puff at Arsenal. Questions of bottle persist.
There’s little evidence Arsenal lack it, but don’t miss the chance to back Burnley at 19/20 (888sport) with a goal start (2pm).
One of the fun things about punting the Championship is when a dark-horse side you’ve backed to go up suddenly just seems to click.
I notice it’s happening for Cardiff this season, three years too late for me.
So I hope they get stuffed at Nottingham Forest (1pm), though a goal ‘anytime’ for Bluebirds set-piece threat Sol Bamba at 12/1 (Fred) would also be a suitable way to acknowledge my pain, thank you.
Last week: Winner at Evens